Dear Social Media Gift-Giver(s),
We’ve been a very good Internet this year and with the holidays upon us, please consider the following wishlist for us good social media boys and girls.
- No more cats. Seriously. We’ve seen every combination of cat + item + snarky caption there could ever be. Let it stop.
- More TV shows that layer social naturally. We love connecting with fans of TV shows, especially reality competitions. But when it seems forced and pained, we’ll just DVR the show and watch it later. Alone. Sans devices.
- “Social media is for young people.” Can you please arrange an angel to lose it’s wings every time someone says that?
- Smartphones with an actual battery life. We are on the run. Meetings, lunches, events – and nobody likes asking “hey, where’s a power outlet?” right when they walk into a swanky restaurant.
- Twitter and Facebook need to hug it out over Instagram. Facebook owns it, Twitter stops auto-populating their images, users lose.
- Not every article needs an animated gif from Glee. It’s OK sometimes, but like Cookie Monster’s cookies, make them a sometimes food.
- File “Facebook Hashtags” in the “nice idea, let it go” section.
- We DO need stinkin’ badges on foursquare. And send us actual badges. Like in Boy Scouts!
- Faux outrage needs to go. Gap, JC Penny, Yahoo – who REALLY cares that they changed their logos?
- Ban this phrase from LinkedIn: “This member chose to be shown as anonymous.”
Pretty please, deliver all gifts via Amazon Delivery Drone! We have to be the first on the block to have a UFO arrive at our front door. Especially those of us who live in apartment buildings.
Thank you so much!