OK, ladies. I’m going to let you in on a secret. One of the deepest, darkest secrets men have: The Man-Crush (sports edition).
We pretend to be as macho as can be while watching sports…it’s true. Sure, we have favorite players and we high-five each other and drink beer and burp/fart/emit other bodily gases with glee.
But what we don’t tell you is the soft spot in our hearts that can only be occupied by one player at a time – The Man-Crush.
Man-Crushes differ greatly from favorite players. A favorite player is a superstar like a Peyton Manning or a Cal Ripken or a Michael Jordan. Favorite players
can also be the last man on the bench. Many Detroit Pistons fans called young big man Darko Milicic the “Human Victory Cigar” because he only played when the team had blown away their competition. Other favorite players can be specialists well-established in their position. For years, my favorite football player was Jermaine Lewis, the kick-returner for the Baltimore Ravens during their first major run to the Super Bowl. I knew something special was going to happen when he touched the ball, plus he seemed like a terrific person off the field.
Players that fall under the Athlete Man-Crush territory have certain characteristics:
1) They MUST be a
a) Rookie or
b) Journeyman making an impact (See: Manto, Jeff)
2) You MUST know that it cannot last. A Man-Crush can not carry over to another season. One and done.
3) You may only have ONE Man-Crush per sport per season. (As previously stated, Orioles rookie outfielder Nolan Reimold is my 2009 Baseball Man-Crush)
4) You do not judge them on their looks, but if they are good-looking, it only increases the depth of the crush. (not that there’s anything wrong with that)
5) A Man-Crush can eventually grow to become a Favorite Player, but not vice-versa.
It is perfectly normal for men to have Man-Crushes. Ever see 300? Every dude in Sparta had a major Man-Crush on King Leonidas!
And with that, I have educated you on the intricacies of the Heterosexual Sports Man-Crush! (Other types of Man-Crushes have different rules, which we may or may not discuss moving forward.)
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